Bed Time

We are Alex Goldberg (NY) and Molly McAleer (LA). We work for Gawker Media. Once we sent each other semi-nude pictures over iChat.

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forwhenifeellikesharing:

planettampon:
It only took two seconds to hear him speak for me to want him to die. And then he mentions this obsession with tanning. Homo’s like this should go far, far away, like to Tanzania or Paraguay or something.
Given his rate of tanning, you won’t have to wait long. Melanoooooma.
He’s also lying about his age. 23? No. Way. … Although, he does “have as serious addiction to tanning, whatever you call that,” so maybe it’s just the fact that he’s turned his skin into leather. (And I’d “call that” indicative of bigger issues… like a blackhole in your skull.)
I also hate him because he’s one of those people with a slightly unique name and had to jazz it up by throwing in extra letters. b-l-a-Y-n-e. Ugh.

I’m sorry, but between the sniffing and the sunken face, am I the only person who is convinced this dude is on meth?

forwhenifeellikesharing:

planettampon:

It only took two seconds to hear him speak for me to want him to die. And then he mentions this obsession with tanning. Homo’s like this should go far, far away, like to Tanzania or Paraguay or something.

Given his rate of tanning, you won’t have to wait long. Melanoooooma.

He’s also lying about his age. 23? No. Way. … Although, he does “have as serious addiction to tanning, whatever you call that,” so maybe it’s just the fact that he’s turned his skin into leather. (And I’d “call that” indicative of bigger issues… like a blackhole in your skull.)

I also hate him because he’s one of those people with a slightly unique name and had to jazz it up by throwing in extra letters. b-l-a-Y-n-e. Ugh.

I’m sorry, but between the sniffing and the sunken face, am I the only person who is convinced this dude is on meth?

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